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6 Ways to Disagree



“Different roads sometimes lead to the same castle.” – George R.R. Martin


6 Ways to Disagree

  • Remove Yourself
    Take “I” out of the conversation. This doesn’t mean you have to change your position but try to avoid making it personal. When you fundamentally disagree with someone’s opinion or a core value they hold it’s easy to make it about your past experiences such as, “I have a colleague in my branch whom…” but coming from a truly unbiased position means that you need to remove yourself from your side of thinking. The other person will never truly understand the experiences you’ve had so it’s tough trying to convey those feelings onto them.
  • Keep it Logical & on Topic
    Often times you may disagree with a single point or thought of someone else and by focusing solely on that one point you forget all the other elements their argument or opinion may have. It can cloud your position if you begin bringing up things that don’t have relevance to the original point you disagreed with. Bringing in side points or questions or even throwing in your own personal little jabs such as, “Shame on you,” are worthless and petty, the idea is to stay on your point not attack the persons character. Often times taking things too personally can cause you to forget entirely what you had an issue with in the first place.
  • Avoid Extremes
    Try not to jump to conclusions and avoid using unfair assumptions when trying to look at a point from another person’s eyes. It’s easy to say things like, “Would you advocate an alcoholic to take a drink…?” but generally if you have to go to an extreme you’re not effectively articulating your point and have decided to choose poor rhetoric over what may have been a well thought out point.
  • Avoid taking the High Road
    If you feel that their opinion is “morally” wrong it is unwise to attempt to take the high road as it is a poor way to argue and you’re showing them that you’re not willing to see their side of it on a purely moral reason. Bringing up things like death or funerals attended means you’re taking the moral high ground, it may be true but in regards to a fundamental disagreement it can be turned back around on you.
  • Don’t be petty
    We often resort to the “last word,” mentality, but being petty in general means that you’d rather be loud than be correct. There is always common ground to be found, but when communication breaks down then you’re only adding fodder to be hit with. Better to agree to disagree in a respectful way then to say something like, “Don’t talk to me ever again, “ or “Please don’t write again.” When we turn to being petty then there are no winners and it reflects poorly on the person being petty more than anything else.
  • End it Amicably
    At the end of the day we’re all human and life is far too short to hold a grudge. Ultimately whether you agree with their opinion or disagree entirely we still need to live in this world together and you won’t feel any better having another person who hates you.

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