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12 of the Weirdest Jobs

2014/11/05

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucius

1.     Shark Tank Cleaner

Most of us don’t relish the thought of cleaning up after our aquatic friends when it’s something as simple as cleaning the aquarium tank in our own homes. Now imagine that fish is more than twice your size and has several rows of razor sharp teeth and you’re cleaning the tank from the inside. Add to that the fact that you’re simultaneously being watched by a crowd of aquarium-goers who are secretly hoping to see a live feeding in which you’re the main course and you’ve got yourself one heck of a high stress career.

2.     Body Farm Caretaker
Walk through the fields of most farms and you may see wheat, potatoes, corn and many other delicious assortments of produce. However, on some farms in the USA you may also catch sight of half-buried corpses and the stench of putrefying corpses. No, this isn’t the result of the latest homicide. These farms are specifically set up to help students of crime scene investigation programs study the natural decomposition of human bodies so they can later apply them to real-life murder investigations. Well it’s all in the name of science, some poor soul still has the task of arranging these rotting corpses into potential murder scenarios and then cleaning up the decomposed mess once the investigation is completed.

3.     Dog Food Tester
If our furry friends could talk we wouldn’t need people to taste-test their chow. Just like any other food product, your canine companion’s dinner needs to go through rigorous testing. To make sure the product is up to top quality, a group of testers with some brave taste buds chow down on pet food making notes on texture and taste. Talk about a job that leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

4.     Golf Ball Diver
There’s nothing more frustrating to an avid golfer than losing ball after ball to an unfortunately place water hazard. When golf balls are pitched into the water’s depths they’re usually considered goners, but to some those drowned balls have dollar signs all over them. Many of the rescued golf balls can be cleaned and resold to golf courses as used equipment, sometimes raking in the big bucks for divers depending on where they’re selling to.

5.     Odor Judge
A trip down the personal care aisle at any supermarket or drugstore presents us with a wide range of colourfully packaged and nicely scented products. But before these deodorants and body washes hit the shelves someone needs to make sure they actually get the job done. Enter the odor judge whose job it is to sniff armpits and various other body parts to make sure the products are effective. We just hope the pay for this job doesn’t stink as bad as the job itself.

6.     Snake Milker
The venom produced by poisonous snakes is used for all sorts of different things, but perhaps the most important use is medical research. Huge quantities of snake venom are needed each year in order to conduct this research and it’s the unfortunate task of the snake milker to spend each day at work pushing the snake’s fangs into a plastic container and collecting the venom.

7.     Human Scarecrow
Who wants to build a boring old straw man that just sits there motionless watching the birds eat your crops when you can hire your own living breathing scarecrow. While this may sound like something out of The Wizard of Oz it could very well be a viable job for some. Take for instance 22-year-old Jamie Fox who spends his days sitting in a farm field in Aylsham, Norfolk reading and strumming his ukulele. As soon as the birds begin to circle Jaime leaps into action, frightening them off with his bright orange coat and accordion playing. This job may be perfect for you if you’ve got a love of the farm life (or perhaps an extreme dislike of birds).

8.     Professional Pencil Sharpener
Crossing the lines of the desire for custom goods, professional pencil sharpener David Rees of Artisanal Pencil Sharpening will sharpen any pencils you send to him. At $35 per pencil, Rees whittles pencils to perfection and returns them to you with the shavings and a certificate of authenticity. Realistically, you could sharpen your own pencils, but who wants to go through all of that effort?

9.     Bed Bug Host
Bed bug infestations are on the rise, but that doesn’t mean that you have to lose sleep over it. Bed bugs can be difficult to kill because they only come out of their hiding places if they can sense carbon dioxide during the night. If you don’t want to suffer through the biting and sleepless nights hire a professional bed bug host to sleep in your bed for you during the extermination process.

10.  Granny for Hire
In this day and age you can pretty much hire anyone for anything if you do a bit of online searching. Granny and I is a company that places experienced grandmothers with families in need of a nanny, housekeeper, maternity nurse, or any other job that may need the care only a grandmother can provide. Each granny comes certified with a background check and First Aid training, and without all of the nagging associated with your conventional granny.

11.  Knife Thrower’s Assistant
If you think your job is bad try strapping yourself to a spinning wheel and letting your boss throw knives at you. If you have a slight frame and little to no regard for your own personal safety than a career as a knife thrower’s assistant might just be for you. While this odd job is fairly self-explanatory, it’s not one to be taken lightly. One sudden flinch or sneeze could be fatal. Talk about losing your head over a bad day at work.

12.  Pathoecologist
The impressive sounding nature of this job title may be misleading, but it’s actually a pretty crappy job. Pathoecology is the study of fossilized poop. While it may sound like a disgusting job, the role of a pathoecologist is vital to help create new and healthier diets based on the way of life and diet of our ancestors.

Do you do a weird job? Or think you’ve heard weirder? Leave a comment below!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. R Dittlof permalink
    2014/11/21 11:32 pm

    whoa, that is in your face arm pit, I doubt that being that close was really necessary. I want to meet some of the people that are are desperate enough for these jobs (bed bug host, arm pit sniffer–yikes. I once heard the story on KJAZZ about the golf ball diver, can make up to 40,000 annually. I think the eyeball prosthetist is a commendable and dying profession.

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