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The Top Ten Lies People Tell

2013/07/03

Good Morning!

Last year we counted down the Top Ten Lies People Tell as rated by our staff here at Aquarian Pure Water.  We encourage your comments and feedback through our comments section below, so please don’t hesitate to give your opinion on our list. We think you’ll be interested as well as informed with our list and hopefully find a little bit of humour in it. So without further adieu, here’s is number our Top Ten Lies People Tell;

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. – Buddha

 

10) Your Table Will Be Ready in 5 Minutes
Many of us have heard this before, and it’s almost always a lie. You walk into the restaurant and see the line, the never-ending line of guests waiting for a table, before you decided to turn around and march out the door, you decide to take a chance and ask how long the wait will be. The host or hostess then asks for the number of guests in your party, then he or she checks the seating chart and lo and behold it’s only a 5 minute wait! They’re lying. They’re lying for a good reason, well in their eye, they just want to keep your business, and the idea behind it is that keeping you waiting for that never occurring 5 minutes is better than telling you it’s gonna be an hour and having you turn away. On the lying scale we give this one about a 1/5 because it can be awfully annoying but ultimately when it does happen, you know it’s a lie.

9) I Never Got That Message
We’ve all either said this or heard this, and it is almost always a lie. You know when you tell it, cause most of the time it’s used in avoidance of confrontation; you get a call and you decide to ignore it, than your voice mail beeps. It’s your wife/husband/mother/father/brother/sister/grandmother/grandfather/son/daughter or any other person who you were too busy to talk to at the moment with a problem that needs your immediate attention, and after listening to it you either decide to ignore or accidentally forget it. Then the call comes again but this time you can’t avoid it, “Did you get my message?” says the person on the phone and even though your brain is saying, “tell the truth, it’ll save the time they need to explain the thing you’ve already heard, “your lips say, “I never got your message.” So now you have to hear what you’ve already listened to and still try to avoid whatever confrontation they may be starting.

8) It’ll Be Okay
The Phrase, “It’ll Be Okay,” often can mean that it’ll be okay, but more often than not it’s a friendly way to comfort someone. Sometimes it’s an over-reaction, sometimes it’s something that is just unfair to the other person, but more often than not it’s a way to make them shut up. “Oh no! My sweater shrunk!,” to which you respond, “It’ll be okay.” AKA Why would I care about your sweater, shut up and leave me alone, or maybe that’s just me….

7) I’m Fine
Whether it be from your wife, husband, father, mother, sister or brother, we’ve all heard this before. You come home from work to a somewhat distant person and upon asking the question what’s wrong, the answer comes quickly and short-tempered, “nothing’s wrong.” Upon further interrogation we ask the inevitable question, “Are You Mad,” to which the answer always remains, “I’m Fine.” Yet it’s said in the most anger filled voice humanly Possible. Your only solution now is to figure out what the hell you did wrong without asking. Asking will only make it worse.

6) I Never Said That
We hear this a lot, especially when in debate with another person. They’ll say something that just gets your blood running hot, and later you’ll say, “You really shouldn’t have said that,” to which they’ll reply, ” I never said that!” You know they did, and deep down they know they did to, but I guess it’s easier to pretend you weren’t that gigantic jerk earlier, it’s easier to pretend you forgot. Except….we know.

5) It’s Not the Money, It’s the Principal (pun intended)
This is why I never borrow money, we hear this all the time when money is involved in some way shape or form with lending. Even for the smallest amount of money, when it comes down to it the person will always want to be paid back, and then the inevitable arguments erupts, you accuse them of being a money driven scoundrel they accuse you of being a mooch. “It’s not the money, It’s the point,” they’ll say, but we all know you just want your money back, and you should, it’s your money!

4) I’ll Be Two Seconds
How often have you heard this? “Oh can you stop by my house, I need to grab something, I’ll be in and out in two seconds,” 25 minutes later they come back in the car out of breath smiling like an ass. “Seriously,” you say, “Why did you take so long?” they’ll sit there flabbergasted and confused at how you could have misunderstood the length of time they said they would take. I’ll be two seconds is always a lie, because almost nothing in the world takes two seconds to do, unless they are about to sneeze.

3) I Never Lie
The irony of this statement is that the very defense of the question will only prove further that the statement is a lie, that is to say, there is no one in the world that has not told a lie. Whether it be simply telling your pregnant wife that she doesn’t look fat, or telling your son who just started playing guitar that he sounds amazing, everybody lies. The trick is not to lie maliciously or for the purpose of hurting someone, but rather to help someone on whatever level that may be.

2) I’m Sick
We’ve heard this more times than we can count, “I’m Sick, I can’t go to school/work/the gym.” And sometimes it’s true, but most of the time let’s face it, it’s not, it’s just a much easier way of not having to do whatever it is they want you to do.

1) I Have Read & Agreed to the Above Terms and Conditions
I find it hard to believe that anybody that has agreed to this has actually read the 13 page long terms that the program or contract states. I don’t even know if the people who wrote it had read it. Definitely not the people who work at the company, my guess is it was written up by the legal team at Burke, Dunn & Hare of New York Legal Department and they sent it over to Apple so that their asses are covered.

 

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Clessie Marie permalink
    2012/01/25 12:30 pm

    I do not know… You asked someone if they would like to do something this weekend and they reply, I do not know if I will be able to, I’ll confirm later. They have already confirmed with themselves that they are not doing anything with you and do not know how to let you know. All they are doing is buying themselves time to come up with an excuse, pardon me ”a reason” as to why they are unable to socialiaze that day. Listen carefully, they have already given you their answer, I do not know is a nice way of say NO! oh well… they know!

  2. 2013/07/04 8:59 pm

    I know someone who constantly says ” I never said that” he uses his age as an excuse to get out of the lies he tells. If he’s confronted with a lie, he will lie right to your face. Whats worse is, his common law wife actually believes his lies and gives him an out every time. He says its his age but if he’s not lying ( which is almost never) he can remember things he did years ago, remembers the lyrics to every song he’s ever heard and has no problems at work as a real estate agent, all those figures would be mind numbing for someone with a memory problem but it gets him out of trouble with his partner who seems to think this dude is a saint with a memory problem due to age….lmao sweet deal!

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